Fifty Sentences of an Estranged Marriage
by Densetsu-no-Maguro
Summary: Fifty sentences of Bernkastel and George's married life. CRACK. Bern/George


**_Fifty Sentences of an Estranged Marriage_**

_A Bernkastel and Ushiromiya George Oneshot_

__**1. Aback**

Bernkastel was truly taken aback when George proposed to her on one bent knee, slipping the ring on her ring finger delicately as if she was a gentle flower.

**2. Abhor**

The Witch of Miracles could openly declare with Lambda's certainty that she absolutely, positively, CERTAINLY abhorred Ushiromiya George's sickeningly sweet behavior.

**3. Back**

"I'm back, dear!" George announced in loving tones, prompting Bernkastel to throw a knife right at him from the kitchen.

**4. Beautiful**

George thought that his dear wife was absolutely beautiful when her blue hair stood on end, her pale face turning red and her voice; oh, her voice, turned into a monstrous shriek when she gets angry.

**5. Boring**

A boring day never existed for Bernkastel now; she was far too busy trying to get rid of her fat husband and his pushy mother.

**6. Bed**

"If you get one inch closer to me on this bed," Bernkastel snarled, opting to use Rudolf's foul language if it can get George off her, "I will _slice your dick off._"

**7. Break**

Bernkastel was at her breaking point when she saw Lambda enjoying her married days with Battler while she's dealing with some fat, bespectacled Ushiromiya with a hinted loli fetish.

**8. Ban**

When Eva banned Bernkastel from cooking certain food for George due to his allergies, Bernkastel couldn't be happier as she proceeded to cook those very meals that night itself.

**9. Create**

"I HAVE NO INTENTIONS ON CREATING A BABY WITH USHIROMIYA GEORGE, GAAP," the Witch of Miracles snapped at the demon, dropping her tea cup to the floor in the process as Gaap started to holler in laughter, not believing a single word she had said.

**10. Change**

"Is there anything you would like me to change about myself?" George asked her, to which she replied, "Yes, please change the fact that you're alive."

**11. Cuddle**

George loved cuddling Bernkastel to sleep, but Bernkastel felt as if she was being burned alive in his arms.

**12. Dread**

Bernkastel dreaded the annual Ushiromiya family meetings, because she really hated it when George starts getting the motivation to have kids after seeing Lambda and Battler with their cheeky son.

**13. Dance**

When Bernkastel started stepping on George's feet by 'accident' when they danced, George then opted to _sing._

**14. Day**

Each day was unusual for George; today, Bernkastel started drawing magic circles on the floor like Maria did.

**15. Despair**

Bernkastel despaired at that very moment when the Senate forbade her from killing George, since he's her lawfully wedded husband.

**16. Eternity**

She wouldn't have to worry about living for eternity, because she knew George couldn't.

**17. Emotional**

"It's alright, Bernkastel. It's alright to be emotional, so please go on ahead wrecking the furniture and trying to saw my leg off," George smiled understandingly, not a trace of sarcasm in his voice at all as Bernkastel shrieked in rage.

**18. Fly**

When Bernkastel threw a stone at a flying seagull that morning, George thought that was really cute.

**19. Food**

"Go on honey, eat up," the Witch of Miracles smiled, serving her husband steamed eyeballs with blood soup for dinner.

**20. Flower**

Bernkastel truly looked like a beautiful flower to George, especially when she's seething with rage and with her smiles contorted everywhere.

**21. Gold**

She wasn't interested in the gold at all, but Bernkastel did wonder what made Eva lug all the gold ingots in their bedroom at 1 a.m. in the morning.

**22. Gross**

Explicitly and directly, Bernkastel told Hideyoshi that his son was downright gross, but her father-in-law merely laughed and patted her on the head, reveling at how humorous his daughter-in-law is.

**23. Grant**

Bernkastel can't grant anyone's miracles at the moment, because George kept on pestering her to make a miracle of their own.

**24. Hold**

"But honey, if I don't hold your hand, you'll end up running away from me," George pointed out as he explained what the handcuffs were for to Bernkastel.

**25. Help**

"Please help me, Lambda...I CAN'T SEE HIM NAKED ONE MORE TIME," Bernkastel's pleading voice echoed throughout the room, pouring out her woes to the Witch of Certainty.

**26. Innocence**

How is it that to the Ushiromiyas, she's a pure being of innocence when she's clearly trying to make it clear that she ABSOLUTELY HATES EVA AND HIDEYOSHI'S SON?

**27. Intimate**

Bernkastel decided that her greatest fear was being intimate with George, to which it happens every night of her life.

**28. Irritating**

She had always found it irritating whenever George snorts, dances, sings, moves, or even breathes.

**29. Jar**

George's guts don't even deserve to be in a jar, Bernkastel concluded.

**30. Love**

"I love you so much," George cooed in her ear, to which Bernkastel twitched her eye at the sickeningly close contact.

**31. Light**

She was the light in his life, but Bernkastel thought otherwise.

**32. Listen**

"Battler, if I have to listen to George singing one more time," Bernkastel growled, "You're responsible."

**33. More**

Did he really expect her to moan "a-ahh...m-more...!" during their intimate moments?

**34. Notice**

Lambda noticed that something was up between George and Bern...maybe it's the undying love that they have for one another!

**35. Open**

George's heart was like an open door; Bernkastel's heart was already shattered on the floor.

**36. Oblivion**

Bernkastel would rather live in Oblivion with Erika rather than cooking in the kitchen for George.

**37. Pain**

"It's painful, you know! Living with him...IT'S PAINFUL!" she screamed, breaking down in front of Beatrice as she fell to her knees.

**38. Precious**

"Do you know that your red eyes look really precious, Bernkastel?" "THEY'RE PURPLE."

**39. Quarrel**

Whenever Bernkastel tried to initiate a quarrel, it never worked because George never actually took her seriously and he was too busy bridal-carrying her to the bed.

**40. Rain**

"For the last time, GEORGE, I'M NOT SCARED OF THE DAMNED RAIN."

**41. Rampage**

Eva, Hideyoshi and George always found it adorable when Bernkastel goes on a rampage in the house.

**42. Rose**

Bernkastel didn't mind looking at the accursed golden roses that Beatrice liked; at least they're better than George's pink ones.

**43. Sex**

"WHAT PART OF 'I DON'T WANT TO DO IT' DON'T YOU GET, USHIROMIYA GEO- a-AH!"

**44. Try**

She'd try many ways to get rid of him, even if it involves rounding up the military or something.

**45. Unique**

George was always proud of Bernkastel for being so unique; who has a wife who gets adorably angry every morning?

**46. Vendetta**

Bernkastel never thought that she'd harbor a really harsh vendetta against George before when she meddled around in Beato's games.

**47. Wait**

Waiting for George's death was actually longer than she thought.

**48. Yearn**

She yearned for the days when she was free to do whatever she wanted, only to be bounded in the worst marriage ever.

**49. Yell**

Her throat could actually split in half due to all her yelling, and it seemed George didn't get it.

**50. Zero**

The probability that she could get out of the marriage was...unfortunately...zero.

* * *

**A/N:** For more information, please refer to "I Expect A Lot of Children From You, Dear" xDDDD

CRACK!

-Densetsu-no-Maguro.


End file.
